ISSUE 6:THERE ARE MUSIC LINKS WITH SHIT ADVERTS.




 British tourist blows up Italian village with suitcase.

Italy is in shock after the picturesque cliffside village of Positano was hit by a huge explosion earlier today. A British man has been arrested in connection with the attack, although first reports suggest that it was not terrorist related. Initial footage appears to show a huge crater in the cliffside, with multiple buildings dislodged or altogether destroyed. Rescuers have arrived from Salerno and Pompei, and local emergency crews fear there may be many fatalities.
Eyewitnesses report that this major incident happened just before 11am, when the British suspect, who was thought to be staying in the village, “firmly pressed down the handle of his suitcase”, which appeared to detonate the explosion. One eyewitness reported that the suspect “looked completely surprised and shocked” after allegedly detonating the explosion. The suitcase itself was later destroyed in a controlled explosion by specialist members of the Carabinieri, the national gendarmerie, or police force. The suspect is thought to be in his early fifties, from the Norfolk region. British police, including Scotland Yard officials, are thought to have joined their Italian compatriots as part of the ongoing investigation.
The suitcase has been identified as a Samsonite Neopulse, like the one pictured below. According to Samsonite spokesperson, Phyllis Wang, their Neopulse range is “completely safe” and there have been no other such reports of their suitcase brands “detonating significant caches of high explosives.” According to Ms. Wang, “they’re just handles, for pulling the suitcase along on its wheels, or for lifting the case. They aren’t wired up to a detonator. Certainly not when we manufacture or sell them, at least.” 





 

60000 for a caravan
1000 a month for a shithole
while I'm earning nothing
There is nothing left
to hope for here
except for
this self build
worry stack
word home
I'm hiding
in a mess of
thicko lying 
shit head brick laying
No more life
No more dark wine
No starry night
knockout punch
I'm so tired of spinning
Czech women screaming
throwing greasy beetroot
hospital doors banging
Russian men shout talking   
near shit sprayed disabled toilet
A Latvian is pacing 
like nazi nurse
A Welsh man is cursing
an Irish fisherman coughing
We are all freezing
in new-build bin
waiting for the lorry
So turn on
colourless
classic FM
saccharine violin
twisted TV
theme tunes
adverts are hammering
my glass splinter bed
my liver is awake
cuddling mummy lungs
and all my heavy bowel ropes
are tying my English limbs
into crash positions
Is it night day?
or day night?
DODO HUG ME?
shit wing flap
I can't earplug
All the screaming
Internet bully lying
Fatty tooth whitening
Lycra selfish selfies
shame pissing
I'm stuck still
need a black pill
industrial farmland
poor throat cutting
in space silence
BILLIONS
of satellite limbs flying 
SUDDENLY SLEEPY
all the dodo wings
start flapping

 




They hang the man and flog the woman

Who steals the goose from off the common

Yet let the greater villain loose

That steals the common from the goose

The law demands that we atone

When we take things we do not own

But leaves the lords and ladies fine

Who take things that are yours and mine

The poor and wretched don't escape

If they conspire the law to break

This must be so but they endure

Those who conspire to make the law

The law locks up the man or woman

Who steals the goose from off the common

And geese will still a common lack

Till they go and steal it back















































BECKS FLEW ACROSS THE NOW UNNAMED FUNNY SHAPED ISLAND FOR MUCH LONGER THAN HE EXPECTED. EVEN HE, WITH HIS MEDIA SAVVY BRAIN, FOUND THE DEVASTATION HARD TO COMPREHEND. THE WHOLE PLACE WAS CHARRED, BLACK AND STEAMING, A WASTELAND OF DESPAIR. HE COULDN'T SETTLE ANYWHERE, SO HE FLEW ON AND ON, LIKE A STUPID BALLOON. FINALLY EXHAUSTED HE SANK ONTO ONE OF THE FEW REMAINING GREEN SPACES AND WAITED. THERE WERE NO GERIATRIC FLAG-WAVING BODIES HE WANTED TO INHABIT, SO HE RESOLVED TO ABANDON HIS WILL TO FATE. 'I WILL INHABIT THE NEXT BODY THAT TOUCHES MY GAS', HE SAID TO HIS GAS SELF. WEEKS WENT BY, THEN A MAN DRAGGING A BIN BAG CAME UPON HIS MOSSY SPOT, AND THREW DOWN THE BAG INTO HIS GAS. INSIDE WAS THE BODY OF A DEAD DOG. BECKS QUICKLY GASSED INTO THE DEAD BODY, JUST AS HE HAD VOWED TO, AND THAT WAS THAT. SLEEP WELL DEAR RUNNING ANGRILY THEN SMILING TATOOED HAIRDO ADVERT MAN...HE'S SAFE NOW...AAAAHHHHH!