ISSUE 5
THERE ARE MUSIC LINKS (IGNORE ALL ADVERTS!)
WOOOOOO ISSUE 5 HAS STARTED!!
zombie London
no life left
no music now
and no artists
turn up the van
stereo to eleven
we used to play
we used to dance
like wood nymphs
and think
like free goths
now we sit
flat faced
receiving
plastic food
new builds
no dancing
no jokes
no talking
no whistling
not even looking
coffee faced
shake faced
dildo flask
property organic
milky jogging superior
cute white families
getting £6 bread
tutting
at the ugly reality
There are no complaints
from the old racists
who think cheap stuff
is for the ignorati
welcome
silent migrants
exotic new edibles
zero hours rainbow
slave work gangs
mediaeval mysogynistic
mole blind cultures
gone the chin up
rock climbing
evolving pioneers
ska punk reggae acid
GARDEN DELIGHT RIOT
exploded to the seasides
Music and culture
was a fairness
fashion fight
now serene
bemused consumers
uber and unter
the London litter
there is nothing to do
but silently walk
admiring the shoes
Physician, heal thyself!
M: So, it’s been a while, how are you feeling about things at the moment?
A: I don’t know, I kind of felt like things were going along ok, I was coping, but then this week I’ve started to feel like I’m slipping back into fear and misery again, allowing dark thoughts to hover around, unable to chase them off, a bit scared and anxious about interacting with other people and the future -a sense of foreboding.
M: Ok, quite a lot going on there. Why don’t you say a bit more about what happened when you noticed your mood start to change?
A: I’ve been off work, initially I was gleeful and focused, I’m trying to revise for an exam so I felt quite motivated about that and I had a plan to work in the mornings then go out for walks in the afternoon. Now I’m coming to the end of my leave and it feels like the world is closing in on me, I’m always thinking about the hospital and all the sick people and my responsibilities and at the same time resentful of thinking about it all. I’ve also started investing in crypto currencies because I’m sick of having no money and not being able to make any plans for the future. But now I’ve got obsessed with that and can’t stop checking my phone. I keep thinking that my dad would be disappointed with me because money is the root of all evil and it’s easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to go to heaven and all that. But I like to have something to obsess over/focus on. Sometimes it goes too far, like I get stuck in these reflex actions of just picking my phone up and putting it down, refreshing apps, going round and round. My jaw gets tight and painful, I manipulate it and make it click which just makes it worse. It’s then I get frustrated. I want to be having grander thoughts than just about which alternative crypto might be my moon shot, whether I’ll ever be able to afford another bedroom, whether I’ll ever live somewhere there’s not constantly dog shit outside.
M: You want more?
A: Yes, of course I want more. I grew up in the 80s in a large house in the suburbs despite my parents never earning much money. We had a big garden, enough bedrooms for me, my parents, my grandma and brothers, a garage to store apples and bikes in. I now earn twice as much as both of them put together and there are no prospects for moving on from a one bedroom flat in a part of London that never quite fulfills its potential. I should be grateful for what I’ve got but I’m becoming bitter. And don’t like myself for that.
M: Woah, careful, there’s a lot of self judgement coming in there. Lots of expectations.
A: Well maybe that’s what you get for sending an introspective lower middle class girl to get a world class if somewhat antiquated university education with some of the most privileged people in existence
M: And don’t forgot the years of boozing to deal with feelings of inadequacy and loss that you still can’t quite articulate
A: Alright, bit harsh. But you're right, I did start drinking seriously at university to deal with my insecurities. If I couldn't be rich and confident in my place in the world, the next best thing was to get really pissed and laugh at those who were. But the joke was probably ultimately on me as I've now spent almost 20 years relying on booze to deal with social situations and the anxiety of acting the fool when I'm pissed. And they're still rich and I'm still not.
M: Yes, an inevitable downward spiral of substance misuse and anxiety. Which at times tips into depression, when your self-judgement with religious overtones kicks in and fear about REALLY FUCKING UP at work becomes overwhelming. Glad I'm not you. Anything else you want to bring up?
A: That’s probably enough for now, thanks. I’ll just go and worry a bit more then ruminate over how I haven’t done any exercise and eat some more chocolate cake. Maybe next week we can talk more, hopefully I'll feel better then?
M: Sure, I'll schedule you in. Bye!
A criminal is undoubtedly a poor soul, who is punished for his poverty.
The art we need is the art of bearing the unbearable.
After all, there is nothing but failure.
We have to keep company with supposedly bad characters if we are to survive and not succumb to mental atrophy. People of good character, so called, are the ones who end up boring us to death.
What can you do. You get a name, you're called 'Thomas Bernhard', and it stays that way for the rest of your life. And if at some point you go for a walk in the woods, and someone takes a photo of you, then for the next eighty years you're always walking in the woods. There's nothing you can do about it.
People keep a dog and are ruled by this dog, and even Schopenhauer was ruled in the end not by his head, but by his dog. This fact is more depressing than any other.
Thomas Bernhard
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_exvKnrK6g
THE DOG SHIT CUP 14/03/21 CAMDEN V TOTTENHAM
C
T
ALL THE ROYALS ARE DEAD! I'M NOT SURE HOW IT HAPPENED. FOOD POISONING? DON'T CARE. NOT INTERESTED
A truly independent press rejects the role of subordination to power and authority. It casts the orthodoxy to the winds, questions what “right-thinking people will accept without question,” tears aside the veil of tacit censorship, makes available to the general public the information and range of opinions and ideas that are a prerequisite for meaningful participation in social and political life, and beyond that, offers a platform for people to enter into debate and discussion about the issues that concern them. By doing so it serves its function as a foundation for a truly free and democratic society. N.Chomsky
wow hit 1000000 likes today wooo. Only 2% body fat, 96% oxygen in blood, feeling good, positive.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEEfJGp6VLw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePaHG6g7uFw
THE CUTE STORY AT THE END
THERE WAS A CHILL IN THE WOODS, SOMETHING WOKE BECKS BUT HE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT, LEWIS WAS STILL SNORING LIKE A PIG, BUT BECKS STUCK HIS HEAD OUT OF THE BADLY MADE HOBBIT HOUSE DOOR. THE DEMENTIA SQUAD HAD FOUND THEM, STEAMING TOWARD THE BADLY MADE HUT IN HIP HOP WHEELCHAIR UNION JACK WAVING HOARD. BECKS SLOWLY PRESSED THE PILLOW OVER LEWIS'S FACE AND WAITED TILL THE KICKING STOPPED. AS THE NONSENSE ARMY HIT THE WILLOWY HUT, BECKS HAD ALREADY GONE. AFTER QUICKLY TAKING HIS GAS FORM, HE HAD SEEPED OUT OF A BADLY MADE WINDOW. 'WHO KNOWS WHICH BODILY FORM I WILL TAKE NEXT', HE THOUGHT. FIND OUT IN THE NEXT ISSUE OF BSN. ppphhheeewwww, aaaaahhhhhhh, Becks will be allright, bye.
GETTING PEOPLE TO CONTRIBUTE IS LIKE PULLING TEETH! I KNOW EVERYONE'S BUSY, BUT I'M ONLY HOUSE-SITTING WITH GOOD INTERNET ACCESS FOR A FEW MORE DAYS, THEN HOMELESS AGAIN, THEN BSN MIGHT HAVE TO STOP :) THAT'S WHY I'M RUSHING A BIT. IN THE NEXT BSN, I REALLY DON'T KNOW, MAYBE A BIT CHEERIER?? :) X
THANKS THUS FAR GRANT, ANNA, LINDA, PHOEBE, PHILLIDA, PAUL, ROSIE, SOPHIE, HORSES, MUSICIANS AND DOGS X
